HAVE I FAILED?

One of the most exciting and funniest things in life is when you turn the pages waaay back in life. I am talkin about memories, diaries, pictures, lyrics and other interesting documents. I just went through the archieve on my hotmail and found this text, me and Izzy wrote together for an assignment I had in school. The task was to write one page about thoughs(If i remember right, Bree correct me if Iam wrong)It was around 10 years ago, it’s interesting to see what your thoughts are in the age of 14.  Yupp IZZY! I know what you are thinking now… – What? me, myself&I? When did i do this? I have no memory of this? What, wait, let me think again. I need to read this again,and I might remember. Hmm. i don’t rememer. Ok. fun…*reading again* + *thinking forever*

> From: @hotmail.com
> To: @hotmail.com
> Subject: My personal thought ! –
> Date: Tue, 29 Nov 2005 23:54:12 +0100
>
> Why is this world filled with hatred, anger and mystery? Where is love?
> Fights are caused every hour, one person dies every second, women are raped
> every minute. Now where really is the love? Are  people even
> being considered? Homeless people should not living outside. And what do I
> do? I complain when my trouses are too short and when the radiator isn’t on.
> But no second have I ever thought about homeless people outdoors until my
> nice got hit by a car last week, and now she’s gone for good. Why did she
> dieand not me? She had more reason to live than I. I have had everything but
> I was greedy. She had love, happiness and never ever complained about
> anything, so why did she die? She was always ready to lend a hand.
> Last week, me and a close frined were walking down the street. We saw a
> young boy kid calling another colourful kid for a word more than BLACK
> SHIT,nigger!
> I didn’t know what to do, but this all lead me to be CONFUSED. I filled
> myself with bad thoughts, so I just walked towards the boy and 1,2 3 I
> slapped his face… I wish I had never done it. Wonder what that boy feelt
> that moment? And at the same moment, I wish could get down on my knees and
> beg for mercry.
> What’s happening? That question is constantly runing around in my head. This
> generation that I live in, that we live in is filled with vanity upon
> vainty.
> What’s the meaning of life, is it worth living? Which comes to the question,
> what is living a good life ? Going to sunday-schools every weekend ?
> If people on this planet had listen to the bibles words, perhaps the world
> would be much more peaceful place than it is today and maybe the best planet
> to live on. Because the bible says; you shall not kill, you shall not steal,
> you shall not rape and you shall not do evil.
> There is hate amongst the people, where is the reaction? Can someone do
> something about it ? communication and wisedom is the answer, but instead we
> expose with violence and weapons!
>
> _________________________________________________________________

I guess we all have asked ourselves these questions, like why so much hate in this world etc… But there is a particular sentence in this text which I STRONGLY know was not my input but izzy’s, which deeply strucks me the most right now.  “I wish I had never done it. Wonder what that boy feelt  that moment? And at the same moment, I wish could get down on my knees and beg for mercry”. Why? because this is something I know Izzy would do by that time(still today). She has always been like a message from God to me, she has done and said the right things i needed to hear/see at some points in my life. This might only be a small sentence to you, but these are the “small” things in life that actually made a BIG impact in my life. 10-15 years ago, I would never in my wildest dream beg for someone’s mercy&especially not if he/she did me wrong, i would rather slapped his face for calling me a nigger(which i believe is a low-ass-word to be called,still today)and tell him to enjoy his own medicine…Hmm i do believe that everything happens for a reason. Yes, I do& now i’m thinking, why did i open this email(MANY years later) of all and not one of 100 others?&why is this sentence the most remarkable of them all? Why? God is that you speaking to me?… Have I faied to beg for mercy at some area in life? Please, do tell me…

ipod1 (50)

xo V

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