Can I get personal, can I take one step closer! Dig a foot deeper down, I need air, I need clarity from this mess. This struggle that I have faced for years. I feel confused, I feel stuck. I grasp for air. Give me a minute. I’m breathing in and exhaling out because I’m finally ready. Ready to talk. Im turning back the hands of time, so I can explain my situation. I remember it like it was yesterday, 2004, i didnt find it, it found me. I fell immensely in love. I was only 15.
I said once before that am ready. I am. After eight year, am finally ready. Ready to come clean, ready for a closure. So, I can move on to the next beautiful stage of my wonderful life. I’m on to the next. I couldn’t before because I was lost, similar to lost in translation, couldn’t translate or understand my past. I had squeeze my past in a bottle and dug deep, only to leave it there, all by it self. I had abandoned it! I had fail to accept my first love. Rather than embrace it and cherish the beautiful part of the eight years I held closely tight to it. I had become frustrated and crushed my heart even more. I had refused to heal. All theses years my heart had been bleeding.
I was blind, love had made me deaf and my mind had numbed my feeling. I had lost my heart. I had lost the most valuable asset to mankind. I had lost the most greatest gift of all: love. I had no problems loving God, but had failed to love others and myself. I was broken and refused to acknowledge the fact that I couldn’t love again. I had ended my previous chapter before its time. I had skipped a chapter and had lost words to continue the present chapter due to the massive hole… It’s time, time to remend the past!
Anonymous writer. What a love piece. Beautiful and honest in all it’s form. Has anyone ever felt this way? The complications of love when it’s not ended properly. I know it might be hard to end a relationship, but it’s better ending it the right way, than tossing it off to the side, and neglecting it. This neglect could very well be the main reason why it’s hard to move on. On to the next chapter. Trust me, I’ve been there.